He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
