with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
