Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
