Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize