I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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