hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
