I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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