the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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