I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
