Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
