Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i barfeds in our rink
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's never too late to be topless.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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