is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
