I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
