I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Randomize
