U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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