we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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