Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
3pm strippers are depressing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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