Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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