Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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