I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
