I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
