After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize