How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My vagina just clenched in fear
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
