oh god the rape fog is back!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
