she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my poor anus
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
