God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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