So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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