i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
