Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
