How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
