you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
