You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
