i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
