So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
