she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
