we're chasing vodka with high fives
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
