I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
