if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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