so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize