why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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