What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
