You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize