To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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