I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize