The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
