roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize