Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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