Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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