i may or may not be watching the land before time
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize