your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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