I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
