you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
