Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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