Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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