We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize