sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
