he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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