Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have grass duct taped all over my body
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
