I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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