I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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