just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize