I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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