I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
