She announced her abortion via fbk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize